Where do I begin? I guess from the very beginning.
In 2001, I met a guy named (this name is made up) Italy and we became close very fast. He was gorgeous, charming, inteligent, and was what I needed at that time: A friend and somebody to be intimate with no strings attached. But of course, as time passed, we both crossed quite a few lines and things started to get blurry. He then went overseas for about a year and we kept contact via email. Nothing deep, just small messages here and there. When he got back, we kind of fell back into that friends with benefits relationship. Only this time it wasn't the same. There was something not right about the both of us.
It seemed as if we wanted more but because he wasn't totally out of the closet, it was nothing that either of us were actively pursuing. I didn't think it was my place to help him out of the closet nor did I want to hurt myself by being a secret boyfriend. Not cute. The weirdness continued and we eventually lost contact for a close to 5 months. This is where it gets a little fucked up. lol Italy called me out of the blue and said he wanted to go out for drinks and chill. I had no ill feelings towards him, so I agreed and met up with him.
He asks me what I have been doing for the last 5 months and I tell him. Once Im done, I ask him what he has been up to. So, he says that he met the ONE and they were in love. So much in love, that he came out to his family and friends about it and even introduced him to them all. You know, that whole time, I was telling him how awesome that was...but on the inside I was UPSET! Like, wow...how could u string me along for over a year and then in a few short months, u not only meet somebody new, but u changed ur entire life! wow..awesome dude! lol
Anyhoo, that is how I felt at that moment, and well...maybe a few months after that too. lol BUT, I got over it and realized that it is what it is. It just wasn't meant to be and Im happy if you're happy. I just wasn't the one and I was fine with it. Italy said he had to tell me because he considered me to be a good friend. So I put all my pride to the side and supported him because he was a really good guy. And again, I just wasn't the one. But at least I could still have his friendship. Win/Win.
They ended up moving in together and seeming like a really happy couple. A few years pass and we have minimal contact. Calls during the holidays, birthdays etc. I get a call from him in mid 2006 and he tells me they broke up late last year (2005). We catch up and hung out a few times during the summer in NYC and in Boston. Fast forward to the end of 2006, and I run into his Ex at clubs and he throws a lot of hate my way. Lots of hate. I was at a club, drunk off Patron shots and Long Islands one night and he tried to attack me for no reason. It was a big scene and he was shouting at me..but like for real..at the top of his lungs type shit. I was barely coherent because I was SO drunk.
After that, I called Italy and told him what happened in the club and if there was something I should know about it. He was shocked and said he had no idea why his Ex would do such a thing and that he would call him to resolve whatever issue there was. There were other situations where this Ex was trying to harm and intimidate me on his own and through 3rd parties. It was very random and each time, I called Italy and would tell him everything. Well, after awhile, Italy just stopped taking my calls and the harassment from his ex continued. It was very spaced out and always very left field, so I was always caught off guard.
This happened from 2006 to last year, 2008. Once I moved to NYC, his ex reached out to me via email with some kind of message about how I did him a favor for "sending that email." I had no idea what that meant, so I pulled a few strings, got his number and called him. Yeah, this man been stalking me for years now, Im not doing the email shit! okay! Bitch, Im not trying to get anything lost in translation! LOL You gon TALK me about this shit!
So we had a long convo and to make a long story a little less long, after about 2 hours of talking, we realized that Italy played us. Apparently, Italy broke up with him because of an email that his ex sent to somebody else. Italy told him that I was the person who informed him of this email and after that, their relationship was done. The ending of the relationship saw his ex being so devastated that his life went into a tailspin. He ended up doing a stint in jail, began doing other illegal things and was having sex for money. So, all of that hurt and anger was then directed towards ME.
Meanwhile, I had no idea of any email. I was told by Italy, that they simply grew apart. I had no idea there was this whole backstory going on..let alone that I was at the center of that shit! So the Ex had all of this resentment towards me for ruining his life. At some point shortly before he sent me that message, he found out that Italy was cheating on him the whole time. So he then became grateful that I had sent Italy that infamous email. Which of course, I never did. Aint this a mess? The Ex even told me that at some point, he was planning on jumping me with his cousin. All that, over a lie. Because Italy was such a fucking coward and didn't know how to break off his relationship. He couldn't be a fucking man and be direct...he had to try and ruin 2 lives so that he could fuck freely.
Thats why he stopped taking my calls...because he didn't want to see or be bothered with the mess that he created. Its almost been a year since I have received that email from the Ex...but I saw Italy in a club last weekend and his face froze. We ignored each other, but he left shortly after he saw me. So yeah, I figured I would post this mess.
I would confront Italy about the situation, but honestly, I just want it to stay in my past. You know, liars don't tell the truth. Thats why they are liars! Don't try to get a liar to tell you the truth, it will only wear you out. You will not get the truth.
So yeah, lies can destroy shit.
I also want to add that I am fully aware that the ex could have lied to me and of course his life spiraling out of control was totally his own doing.